I'm Outing Myself...

I guess the depressing news we got today makes me feel like I should just throw this out there. Justin and I have been undergoing fertility treatment. We had our first Intrauterine Insemination Feb. 21st, and found out today that it did not work. I'm tired of hiding what we are going through. Infertility is something that affects so many couples, and so many of them suffer in silence. Here's our story, thus far...

I am diagnosed with hypothyroidism and Poly Cystic Ovarian Disease(commonly called PCOS). Basically, I have a really bad hormonal imbalance and a crappy thyroid. I rarely ovulate on my own. Our original plan was to go through ovulation induction, but before we could do that, we had to complete a semen analysis just to make sure we were in the clear there. We never dreamed we would also be dealing with male factor infertility, but the analysis showed agglutination. Agglutination is basically where the sperm clump together, most likely preventing them from reaching the egg. We were told the only way to correct this was to do Intrauterine Insemination(IUI). The sperm are put through a washing procedure before being inseminated, and this completely corrects the agglutination problem.

The original plan was to use the most affordable option, Clomid, to induce ovulation, but unfortunately an ultrasound showed that I had no response whatsoever to Clomid. I was crushed by that because it meant that we were an even more difficult case than I thought, and this was not going to be cheap. The fertility doctor decided the best option would be something called a hybrid cycle. I would take the pill Femara for 5 days, and on the 5th day I would start injections of a drug called Menopur. If follicles grew(when mature, follicles rupture and release an egg)I would give myself a a "trigger shot" of Ovidrel, which forces ovulation within 24-48 hours.




Here is how it went:
February 7th - Cycle Day 1.
February 9th - Cycle day 3, blood work and ultrasound to make sure we were ready to start meds. Started Femara.
February 13th - Last dose of Femara, first injection Menopur.
February 16th - Ultrasound shows two follicles growing. Things look good.
February 18th - Ultrasound shows follicles grew like crazy and are almost ready. One more day of the Menopur injection.
February 19th - Ovidrel trigger shot.
February 21st - The insemination procedure. We had two mature follicles and 45 million motile sperm, post wash. Those numbers were fantastic and we were optimistic.

Today we had a blood test done, and learned our IUI wasn't a success. It's on to round two. I am hoping that being able to speak freely about our treatment will make it a little easier to go through.

"The English language lacks the words 'to mourn an absence.' For the loss of a parent, grandparent, spouse, child or friend we have all manner of words and phrases, some helpful, some not. Still, we are conditioned to say something, even if it is only 'I am sorry for your loss.' But for an absence, for someone who was never there at all, we are wordless to capture that particular emptiness. For those who deeply want children and are denied them, those missing babies hover like silent, ephemeral shadows over their lives. Who can describe the feel of a tiny hand that is never held?" - Laura Bush